Welp, that’s all, folks. The Golden State Warriors have officially been sent fishing, bounced out of the playoffs in five games by a Julius Randle-led Minnesota Timberwolves team that looked like they’d been binge-watching prime Spurs ball movement and drinking Gatorade straight from the fountain of youth.
Meanwhile, back at the Warriors’ ranch, the vibes were… weird. Steph Curry was sidelined with a hamstring strain after Game 1, and the Warriors’ offense without him looked more confused than a dog in a magician’s hat. And while Game 1 somehow went their way, thanks to a sprinkle of Buddy Hield and Jimmy Butler magic, the rest of the series? Oh boy.
Let’s just say Golden State’s shooting fell off faster than Curry pulling his hamstring
Amid all the chaos, second-year stud Brandin Podziemski pulled a “Wait, I still have something to say!” in Game 5. He dropped 28 points on 11-of-19 shooting, including 4 threes, making him the youngest Warrior to do so in a playoff game. That’s the kind of stat that deserves a parade… or at least a dedicated “Pod Party” emoji.
Podziemski came into the season averaging 8.0 PPG and shooting worse from three than Ben Simmons shoots free throws. But post-injury, he turned into Splash Brother Lite, finishing the regular season with 14.9 PPG and 41.2% from deep. He even outscored Jimmy “Buckets” Butler in Game 5. But unfortunately, Brandin’s one-man show was like trying to plug the Titanic with a wine cork.
Jimmy Butler, who put up 17 points and 6 assists in Game 5, looked solid-ish but not Jimmy-Jimmy level. Postgame, he didn’t sugarcoat the disappointment. When asked about regrouping with Steph and Draymond, he joked: “That is a very good question. Maybe on a plane, I don’t know.”
That’s either the start of a buddy-cop movie or the Warriors’ offseason strategy session. “If we’re healthy… it may be different. But we’re going to take our chances for sure, if Steph is out there.” Jimmy still believes. As long as Steph’s ankle isn’t held together by duct tape and hope, the trio is running it back like it’s 2016 again. The man basically said, “Catch us in Cancun, then catch us in the Western Finals next year.”
Draymond and Jimmy don’t believe in the process of aging
Draymond Green, who had a ho-hum 10-point, 6-assist outing, gave us one of his patented philosopher-warrior pressers. When asked if he thinks the young guys can elevate this squad, he went full life-coach mode: “Do I have confidence in our young guys that they can take the next step? Absolutely. 1000%.” That’s more confidence than Elon Musk has in a rocket that hasn’t exploded yet.
He also admitted to turning the ball over like it was a hot potato, saying: “I continue to take the risk without having the ball as much… and so it looks different.” You know what else looked different? Buddy Hield’s jumper. That man shot 0-for-4 from deep and 2-of-9 overall. Not since Space Jam 2 have we seen stars lose their powers this hard.
When asked about people saying he, Jimmy, and Steph are too old, Draymond clapped back: “One thing I can assure them is every year we will get older… just like every year you’ll get older.” Aging? In this economy? Not a problem. Draymond says they’re still improving — and if there’s one thing old dudes can do, it’s play smarter, not harder.
Just ask Chris Paul, who didn’t even play in this series but probably still has more NBA IQ than half the court. “As long as you’re improving in this league, it’ll treat you well. It’s when you stop improving that the bottom falls out.”
Now that is a bar. Let’s not ignore the human flamethrower that is Jonathan Kuminga. After being benched earlier, he exploded for 26 points in Game 5, which officially made him the Warriors’ leading scorer in the series. He might be a restricted free agent this offseason, but if Golden State lets him walk, someone’s going to give him a bag the size of Shaq’s shoes.
Here’s the thing — this isn’t just about shooting splits and rotations. The Warriors looked like a band with no lead singer. Sure, Podziemski and Kuminga can jam, but without Steph Curry’s gravitational pull, the Warriors’ offense collapsed faster than a folding chair at a BBQ.
Even Jimmy knows it: “If Steph is out there… We’ll come back and figure this thing out.” And that, ladies and gentlemen, might be the most honest thing anyone said in this series.
Golden State now enters a spicy offseason with tough questions: Will Kuminga stay? Will Jimmy, Steph, and Draymond actually meet on a plane or just FaceTime from three different beaches?