Sports

‘One of the greatest Tests by a Wallaby prop ever’: Brutal Bell, RWC reject headline as 7 Aussies make team of the week

The silence of the northern lambs this Monday morning as I see the sunlit eastern shore of Scotland flash by on the train to Kings Cross is both lovely and dangerous as a home ground riposte is certain.

But as Australian rugby union joy has been rationed scarcely lately, a wee gloat is in order. Lessons are not always learnings and learning from glorious victory is underrated.

Come let us do the impossible and pick just 15 men of the South (quite a few Argentines, Fijians and South Africans may be quite unlucky, given the significance of what happened in Dublin and London) and also we scrape the barrel to come up with 15 good and true from sad Northern flocks.

A note: the USA beat Portugal in Portugal and won well, but the likes of flyhalf AJ McGinty cannot be selected even if, like Japan, the Eagles fly a bit outside the radar of the hemispheres.

Southern XV

Loosehead prop: Big Angus Bell just played one of the greatest Tests for a Wallaby prop ever. He went deep into the game, dug hard in dark places, and did his core jobs, but with ball in hand he was a supersized NFL running back, beating nine unhappy hapless Englishmen. He is the bull.

Hooker: Pumas skipper Julian Montoya must be right up there with Siya Kolisi as a captain whose leadership surpasses even his stellar play. Al dente Argentina drained Italy out of the colander. He nips all-action All Black Asafo Aumua who looks like he could succeed Codie Taylor soon.

Tighthead prop: Facing his Bath teammate Finn Russell, fleet-footed behemoth Thomas ‘Tank’ du Toit took his chance in Frans Malherbe’s absence, ruling the scrum but adding a quick-thinking try.

Lock: Eben Etzebeth ran down and caught Duhan van der Merwe in the open field at full speed. Add to that a reprise of his classic Sydney prop staredown and he rules, just ahead of a superb but short performance by Matias Alemanno.

Lock: Joe Schmidt’s least predicted 2024 pick Jeremy Williams finished like a sharp shooting wing in the corner, but he also worked his socks off in all the more usual lock roles, keeping excellent Kiwi Tupou Vaa’i out.

Blindside flank: Wallace Sititi or Rob Valetini? This is who Hobson must have been contemplating when he made a choice. Flip a coin, mate. Both were bowling over tacklers like pins and showing improved appreciation for how their loose trios connected. We will start the John Eales Medallist.

Openside flank: No hesitation here. Fuzzy-faced Fraser ‘Red’ McReight was in just about every situation which caused eventual victory; his telepathic partnership with his teammates is the real key, and is a walking advertisement for how gym bodies are not always the best rugby bodies.

 

No. 8: The most certain fact is this will not be manned by Kwagga Smith, who was once again manhandled by Celts, as he was by the Irish in July. A starting eight must have the power to stop a big carrier cold and to get over the gainline and to the floor from a standing start. Captain, or should we say General Harry Wilson ran until he could run no more and then he ran some more. But Ardie Savea was up against the Irish pack in Dublin and mastered them.

Scrumhalf: In the three ‘Tri Nations v Home Nations’ tussles, the starting South halfbacks were run through woodchippers at the ruck, sawbladed at the base, and rocked late on the pass. Their second half replacements, Tate McDermott, Cam Roigard, and Grant Williams showed stronger hands, niftier timing in the lift, and were essential agents in the finish. Of those, Roigard looked best in his composure and pass.

Flyhalf: Four Southern men stated compelling cases. Hot Tomas Al𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧az is a match that lights Argentina afire. Cool Handre Pollard won his duel with Russell for 80 minutes despite being king hit off the ball at a ruck. A mature Damian McKenzie kept his tour de force going. But it is young Caleb Muntz of Fiji who takes the playmaker spot, refusing to repeat errors of the past.

Left wing: Makazole Mapimpi of Murrayfield turned back the years with a brace of kick-pass tries, both of which took a fair bit of finish after feeling where first Pollard and then Willie le Roux would place it. He thrived under the emphasis on a clear path to the catcher on the chase.

Inside centre: Giant back Andre Esterhuizen ran over woozy Scots all Sunday night after strong Josua Tuisova disrespected Welsh assailants, but this was the easiest selection of all. Len Ikitau, along with several others, was deemed unworthy of a place in Australia’s top 34 players last year by Eddie Jones, but he just sank one of the best, coolest, and deadliest daggers into the tyres of the English chariot.

Outside centre: How can we avoid the claims of gliding, sliding, eliding Joseph Suaalii? We could pick out the overruns or ruck scepticism but this would be churlish. He just saved rugby in Australia! Tougher Tests await, so let us start him now.

 

Right wing: The only Bok outside the ‘best team if it were a knockout match’ who asserted himself against Scotland was tall and fast Canan Moodie, a direct beneficiary of the anti-escort, pro-box aerial contest initiative.

Fullback: How in the hell do you choose between clairvoyant 98-cap Bok le Roux, fresh faced try thief Will Jordan and combative Tom Wright? Wright has been critiqued (fairly) for much of his career about unforced errors. Not lately. Both le Roux and Jordan were part of costly errors. Wright takes it.

South XV: Bell, Montoya, du Toit, Etzebeth, Williams, Valetini, McReight, Savea, Roigard, Muntz, Mapimpi, Suaalii, Ikitau, Moodie, Wright.

Australia: 7South Africa: 4New Zealand: 2Argentina: 1Fiji: 1

Northern XV

The North came in as savage ruck destroyers and left as losers. All of The Rugby Championship teams made halftime adjustments and took over at the end.

Nevertheless, there were star performers.

XV: Jean-Baptiste Gros, Peato Mauvaka, Zander Fagerson, Maro Itoje, James Ryan, Chandler Cunningham-South, Josh van der Flier, Jack Dempsey, Antoine Dupont, Marcus Smith, James Lowe, Sione Tuipulotu, Huw Jones, Louis Bielle-Biarrey, Tom Jordan.

France: 4

Scotland: 5

England: 3

Ireland: 3

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