Allen and former NBA player Norm Nixon tied the knot in April 1984

Debbie Allen knows what it takes to make a marriage stand the test of time.

The Grey’s Anatomy star, 74, told PEOPLE at the Project Angel Food’s 35th Annual Angel Awards Gala in Hollywood on Saturday, Sept. 28 that the secret to her and husband Norm Nixon’s 40-year marriage is common interests.

“I think our relationship has always been 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧 on friendship and commonality in terms of things that we both like,” she shared. “[We like] to read books. We both like to go to the movies. We both like to travel. We both love our 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren.”

Debbie Allen, 74, Says She Maintains Her Health by Being ‘More Active Than Ever’ (Exclusive)(L-R) Norm Nixon and Debbie Allen at the Project Angel Food Angel Awards Gala held at Milk Studios on September 28, 2024 in Los Angeles, California.

Jesse Grant/Variety via Getty

However, the actress notes that she and the former NBA player have endured trials and tribulations since tying the knot on April 27, 1984.

“So wherever there have been differences and there have been. Honey, over 40 years, 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥, we’ve hit some rocks and hit some walls,” she admitted. “But at the end of the day, we really love each other and we sleep together every night and we love our family.”

After getting married, the pair welcomed their first 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 together, daughter Vivian Nixon, in May 1984 and three years later, son Norman Nixon Jr. was 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧. She is also stepmom to Norm’s son, DeVaughn Nixon.

Allen celebrated her 40th anniversary with Nixon in April with a sweet Instagram post.

Debbie Allen’s 3 Kids: All About Vivian, Norman Jr. and DeVaughn

“Happy Anniversary to My Love, Norm Nixon #MyForeverDancePartner,” she wrote alongside a clip of the pair dancing together in front of a crowd.

In addition to marking the milestone anniversary, Allen is preparing to welcome two more grand𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren. She told PEOPLE she is going to be “four times a grandma” and her grand𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren call her “Ma D.”

“Vivian has given me two. One is three, one is five. I’m so in love with them,” she shared. “I could do nothing else but just be with them and she’s such a good mother. She educates them. They’re so smart. They came home singing Duke Ellington one day. I’m like, ‘What? What is going on?’ Speaking Chinese and understanding that there’s a global world out there, so I love 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren right now.”

“The Debbie Allen Dance Academy, it’s my whole life, but my grandkids are very special and I’m just excited that I got two more and they’re all girls, so I’m going to have my own corps de ballet,” she added.

(L-R) Debbie Allen and Norm Nixon attend the 46th Kennedy Center Honors at The Kennedy Center on December 03, 2023 in Washington, DC.

Allen — who was honored with the Humanitarian Angel Award at the event — also spoke about the importance of Project Angel Food, which is dedicated to nourishing “the health and spirit of vulnerable people facing critical and life-threatening illness, by preparing and delivering medically tailored meals with love, care and dignity,” according to the organization’s mission.

“Project Angel Food is one of the most important nonprofits on this planet because it recognizes and it works hard every day to serve those who need, to share from those who have to those who have not,” she said. “And people should not go hungry on this planet and certainly not here in the United States.”